Fuck!

Addressing a thing!

So turns out I’m not a very good person /srs! I do not believe I am in the right here, and I will be taking a bit of a public hiatus to better myself.
Please do not harass either of them, I’m not in the right here.
Sorry for living up to the Friday Night Funkin’ fan name and ending up being a shit person myself.
TW/CW for stuff I did; including Manipulation/Victimization, Fakeclaiming for IRLs/Negativity.

TW/CW: Me being a fucking dick

The person they are referring to is my favorite person/FP (it’s a personality disorder thing/srs) who I consider my platonic boyfriend/joyfriend. I had gained an attachment to them and a major crush, which was pretty fucked of me! I do admit that. I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say about that. I’m just a fucking dick for that.

I did cut Pico off, I don’t recall when I say that they did other than them breaking up with me /srs. I’m sorry for taking the block option? I don’t really know why I decided to go crazy on my CF story. I have terrible abandonment issues and maybe I got triggered? This isn’t about me. Well it kind of is. I do understand that it’s a little fucked that I took the block option but you did like ask for it I guess one or the other and I chose the bad one! I was in a terrible mental state and my actions are not justifiable.

Kimurai, Pico, whatever you want what the fuck I am to you to call you (sorry that’s shit wording),
I’m sorry for not directly communicating with you about it as you did mention your discomfort and I did understand, I was just too caught up in my belief that my FP was not a double of you since I don’t believe “variants” are doubles but that doesn’t mean that you don’t believe they are doubles. I’m sorry for borderline if not genuinely just cheating and I do believe I am a fucked person even if it’s just “borderline cheating” as it’s literally one of my biggest fears in a relationship, I did not believe I was because I was crushing hard on them rather than dating but I did draw a lot of affectionate stuff towards them during our relationship; and that’s fucked of me! I know that now, I think I already knew a bit before too, which is even more fucked.I also do not believe your apology was needed, I do wish you communicated with me directly about my g3n5h1n trigger and me ranting about it as you wish I had communicated with you about me and my fp, but that’s really it.There is nothing I can do about the relapses you went through because of me and the only thing I can do now is just try not to be a fucking dick, and I’m all about hating fucking assholes so it’s pretty fucking hypocritical of me to do any of this.

TW/CW: Fakeclaiming

This is a bit of an old gracexpico rant carrd I have, and it fakeclaimed K43d34th (number censored for me as I still get a bit twitchy talking about them/srs) who is a Grace IRL and has been removed now, I cannot do anything about any dips in mental health that may have been caused by my fakeclaim but I am sorry for it and I’ll do my best to prove it.

I still believe GracexPico is proship, I always will. Toxic ships are proship in my eyes and I still stand by what I said about it in the carrd. I also do not think it is gay erasure as Kimurai stated in their last bit as [Soft] Pico is canonly bisexual in our source but I do find it a bit of an ick to sort of erase a canon gay relationship.
I don’t think Grace is some manipulative monster, I just think it would be a toxic or extremely unhealthy relationship for someone who hated [Soft] Pico’s guts for years and blames the shooting on them to date them, and I do not mean any bisexual erasure by believing it is proship because it’s not about them dating a woman it’s about them dating someone who blamed a shooting on them, even if they were manipulated into believing it and allegedly do not believe it anymore, cause that appears to have taken years.

TW/CW: Me being a fucking dick again that’s what all of this is about

I do agree I was victimizing myself a bit and I don’t think Pico was in the wrong for breaking up with me over it, I was upset and angry and like going crazy in a school office and I said stupid shit. Not justifiable, especially with the new(?) knowledge they relapsed because of it. I remember saying sorry for ranting about it to them in their dms but I did keep doing it afterwards in my stories and stuff like a bitch as they said that it didn’t affect them at the time of my little shit dm apology from what I remember, and I could scroll for hours looking for my rant to them to see if I’m wrong or right about that if you ask.I don’t think I was really thinking about Pico being painted as a bad person when I said what I’d said and I do apologize for that. I was hurt by the breakup and that’s all there is to me saying they really hurt me and I understand that I look fucking stupid.Nene, I don’t think you’re in the wrong for thinking I’m a disgusting piece of shit. I think you two are right /srs and I will try to better myself, but only time will tell if I really do get better.The specific bits on my carrds that have problems according to the two of you have been removed.